The Offtopic Thread

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vikikivi

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There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy "Hey! Where am I?" To this, the solitary office worker replies "You're in a plane." The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out.

The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. "Simple" replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just a while away."

__________________________________________________________

Is Windows a virus?

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
They replicate quickly Okay, Windows does that

Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so okay, Windows does that

Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk Okay, Windows does that, too

Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems Sigh... Windows does that, too

Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware Yup, that's with Windows, too

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature

So, Windows is *not* a virus

__________________________________________________________

Note about Winblows '95

Windows '95 supports Plug 'n' Pray peripherals!!! :D :D

__________________________________________________________

What's the difference between Bill Gates and Robert Tappen Morris, Jr.
(the Internet Worm Hacker)?

Robert Tappen Morris, Jr., got six months in jail for crashing 10% of the
computers that Bill Gates made $100 million crashing last weekend.

__________________________________________________________

Bill and his young wife wakes up after their first marriage night. The woman says: "Finally, I found out, why you called your company "MicroSoft" :p :p

__________________________________________________________

FACTS

1- In a world without wall and fences, who needs windows and gates?
2- Disasters of our century: Hiroshima '45, Cernobyl '87, Windows '95.

__________________________________________________________

And for many more...chk out

Code:
http://www.zejn.si/~natan/gates.html
 
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max

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I hope you're not suggesting M$ bashing! :p
 
St0le

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This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a United States naval vessel and the Canadians, which took place off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The US Chief of Naval Operations released this transcript into the public arena later the same month. Canadians: Please change course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. Americans: Recommend you change your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid collision. Canadians: Negative. You must change your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the Captain of one of the United States' Navy's warships. I say again change your course 15 degrees north. Canadians: Negative, I say again negative. You will have to change your course. Americans: LISTEN BUDDY, WE ARE THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER "USS LINCOLN" - THE 2nd LARGEST SHIP IN THE US NAVY. WE ARE SAILING IN CONVOY WITH 3 DESTROYERS, 3 BATTLE CRUISERS, AND SEVERAL SUPPORT SHIPS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH IMMEDIATELY OR I WILL BE OBLIGED TO CONSIDER COUNTER MEASURES TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SQUADRON. Canadians: this is the lighthouse. its Your call.
 
Sudar

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st0le,You made my stomach to ache... Good one.. :p
 
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prathapml

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Load balanced, 100Mbit fake poop
This is known to NOT be true....
 
thecoolone

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nice one ..ohh darn stupid americans ... how blind sighted do they get becox they r the super power !!
 


St0le

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Vince , does it matter who posts it (internet kills ownership)all that matters is we point fingers at americans and have a good laugh!on 31,2,3 ....point...and laugh!
 
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Originally posted by [email protected] 5 2005, 09:46 PM
I believe I posted that somewhere..

@Prathapml: Most probably not true, but you've gotta admit that its funny...
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You shouldn't be surpried. His name says it all - Stole!
 
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ispuser

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Originally posted by [email protected] 5 2005, 09:51 PM
Vince , does it matter who posts it (internet kills ownership)

all that matters is we point fingers at americans and have a good laugh!

on 3
1,2,3 ....point...and laugh!
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[/quote]

Good one - original posting and this reply as well.

Keep it coming!
 
St0le

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St0le :: hahaahaaaa mumble*smartalec*mumble*pleasant adjectives*good observation....others never notice such IMPORTANT things!!!!St0le doesnt steal...he just borrows.....without telling anyone....and not returning stuff! .... and .... (i could go on and on!!)
 
St0le

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what about these quotes----------------------------------------Bill Gates Speaks"I don't have any evidence of that... Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's alot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning." -- Bill Gates, when asked about religion and God's existence in "Time" magazine"Hey, Steve, just because you broke into Xerox's store before I did and took the TV doesn't mean I can't go in later and steal the stereo." -- Bill Gates, Microsoft, 3/14/89--as quoted in MacWEEK, 1/9/90 p. 23"You shouldn't get overly paranoid thinking that Microsoft's a broad competitorand it's not possible to work with us."-- Bill Gates at PUBLISHERS' CONVENTION April 1997"Anybody who thinks a little 9,000-line program that's distributed free and can be cloned by anyone is going to affect anything we do at Microsoft has his head screwed on wrong."-- Bill Gates to George Gilder responding to Java(shortly before licensing Java and dumping Blackbird)"There won't be anything we won't say to people to try and convincethem that our way is the way to go."-- Bill Gates on Microsoft marketing"640K ought to be enough for anybody."-- Bill Gates circa 1981"If you can't make it good, at least make it look good."-- Bill Gates on the solid code base of Win9X"I believe OS/2 is destined to be the most important operating system, and possibly program, of all time. As the successor to DOS, which has over 10,000,000 systems in use, it creates incredible opportunities for everyone involved with PCs."-- Bill Gates, from "OS/2 Programmer's Guide" (forward by Bill Gates)"There are people who don't like capitalism, and people who don't like PCs. But there's no-one who likes the PC who doesn't like Microsoft"-- Bill Gates, Free Market and the LA Times"This is the right way to develop applications for OS/2 PM. OS/2 PM is a tremendously rich environment, which makes it inherently complex. Smalltalk/V PM removes that complexity and lets you concentrate on writing great programs. Smalltalk/V PM is the kind of tool that will make OS/2 the successor to MS/DOS".-- Bill Gates, from the back of an old Digitalk Smalltalk/V PM manual, 1990Developer: Does the announcement [of the OS/2 joint development agreement between IBM and Microsoft] mean that Microsoft is curtailing any plans for future development of Windows?Gates: Microsoft has not changed any of its plans for Windows. It is obvious that we will not include things like threads and preemptive multitasking in Windows. By the time we added that, you would have OS/2.-- Bill Gates, from "OS/2 Notebook", Microsoft Press, © 1990--an excerpt from an interview with Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino, p. 614Interviewer: Is studying computer science the best way to prepare to be a programmer?Gates: No, the best way to prepare is to write programs, and to studygreat programs that other people have written. In my case, I went tothe garbage cans at the Computer Science Center and I fished out listings of their operating system.-- Bill Gates, from "Programmers at Work" by Microsoft Press, interview with Bill"If you don't know what you need Windows NT for, you don't need it."-- Bill Gates"New interface closely resembles Presentation Manager, preparing you forthe wonders of OS/2!"-- Microsoft Advertisement On the Box of Windows 2.11 for 286"Microsoft programs are generally bug-free. If you visit the Microsoft hotline, you'll literally have to wait weeks if not months until someone calls in with a bug in one of our programs. 99.99% of calls turn out to be user mistakes.I know not a single less irrelevant reason for an update than bugfixes.The reasons for updates are to present more new features."-- Bill Gates, on code stability, from Focus Magazine"Imagine the disincentive to software development if after months of workanother company could come along and copy your work and market it underit's own name...without legal restraints to such copying, companies likeApple could not afford to advance the state of the art."-- Bill Gates, on Microsoft's GUI innovations (unconfirmed quote)"The next generation of interesting software will be made on a Macintosh, not an IBM PC."-- Bill Gates (unconfirmed quote)The Top Ten Reasons Why I Love My PCBy Bill Gates10. I love using Barney software with my 18-month-old daughter. Now I constantly find myself humming Barney songs.9. Every function of my new house is managed by the PC (and sometimes it works). 8. What other machine allows you to "plug and play," "embrace and extend" and "link and embed?" 7. With electronic mail, anyone can send me their thoughts with a click of a button. 6. I can program in any language that I want. 5. In just one weekend I can sit at my PC, collaborate with attorneys all over the world, comment on a 48-page legal brief and send it all to the Department of Justice. 4. I can gather information on the Internet so I can make sure to never repeat myself in speeches. 3. I do my best work using my laptop on the airplane and I don't have to store a server in the seat in front of me. 2. The PC empowers everyone in the world to publish their ideas, opinions, and dreams of changing the world. And the number one reason... 1. I can use Microsoft CarPoint to show Ralph Nader my Corvair collection.----------------------------------------this thread is BIT old but it still figures in the first page of "Humour"
 
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max

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What about cool facts about Bill gates?
 
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max

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lol. But this is OLD and I've read it several time :confused:
 
St0le

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Bill Gates' full name is William Henry Gates III. If the ASCII codes of the letters in "BILLGATES" are added, plus three for the "III" in his name, then the sum is 666 (the number of the beast...iron madien rooolzzz.....29a = 666). B I L L G A T E S 3 66+73+76+76+71+65+84+69+83+3 = 666