Collection Of Jokes

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A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, Is God a man or a woman?”
“Both son. God is both.”
After a while the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy is God black or white?
“Both son, both.”
The child returns a few minutes later and says, “Daddy, Is Michael Jackson a God?

:rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
omg LOL :rofl:
 
A laywer was on his deathbed.

He called for his wife, and after she arrived he told her to run and get her Bible as soon as possible. So she ran and got her Bible, preparing to read him his favorite verse or something of the sort.

He snatched it from her as soon as she got back though, and began to rapidly thumb through the pages, quickly scanning them as they leafed passed.

His wife was curious about his behavior and asked him, "What are you doing, honey?"

He simply replied, "I'm looking for loopholes!"






Few more

1) Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?

Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.


2) Wife : Do you want dinner?

Husband : Sure, what are my choices?

Wife : Yes and no.

3) 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!

2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.

1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

4) Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"

Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field

Teacher : How?

Student : Ladies first.

5) Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.

Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.

6) First Guy says (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
 
Ek bar ek Shopping Mall ne ek naya gujarati salesman hire kiya. Uske hire hote hi, Sale badhne lagi-din dugni, raat chauguni. Malik ne socha is ladke se mujhe milna chahiye. Malik Mall par aaya, usne dekha ladka ek customer ko fishing-rod bech raha tha. Woh dur khada ho kar hi usko customer se deal karte dekhne lagaa. Ladke ne fishing-rod bech di. Customer ne kaha kitne rupaye, ladka bola Rs.800/-. Yeh kah kar ladke ne customer ke shoes dekhe aur bola, itne mahange shoes pahankar fishing karne jayenge? Ek sport shoe bhi kharid lijiye, customer ne sport shoes bhi kharid liye. Ab ladke ne kaha talaab kinare dhoop mein baithna padega, ek cap bhi kharid lijiye to theek rehega, customer ne cap bhi kharid li. Ab ladke ne kaha, machli pakadne mein bahut intezar karna padega, kuch eatables, wafers, biscuits, bhi le jayiye, customer ne woh bhi kharid liye. Ladka bola machli pakdenge to rakhenge kahan ? Yeh ek Rs.100/- ki basket bhi le lijiye, customer ne wo bhi kharid li. Ab total bill bana Rs.2000/- ka. Malik bahut khush hua. Usne ladke ko bulaya aur kaha, tum to kamal ke salesman ho. Woh aadmi fishing rod kharidane ayaa . . aur tumane usey itna sarasamaanbech diya, very good. Ladka bola, ' Sir, woh aadmi to 'Stayfree' napkin kharidane ayaa tha, maine kaha, char din tu ghar par kya karega 'Jaa Machli Pakad' '
 
Do people come to buy Stayfree in shopping malls.. ?But the joke was nice..
 

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.''Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and4.. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. (THIS GETS BETTER!) The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.The women won. :rofl:
 
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.
He put on his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We were together all afternoon."
Wife replied "You lying bastar#
You've been playing golf!"
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Have a great weekend
 
Originally Posted by Sushubh
A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, Is God a man or a woman?”
“Both son. God is both.”
After a while the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy is God black or white?
“Both son, both.”
The child returns a few minutes later and says, “Daddy, Is Michael Jackson a God?


what a joke man,BTW who is this guy sushubh.give us more jokes like this
 

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