Sushubh
Admin
Staff member
A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of himone day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put thebeast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right....... until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?""Yes," the wife answers, "why do you ask?"Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a ***** on the phone,I'm lost and need directions!
D
Deleted member 7160
:hysterical: lol.. Cat must be using some kinda GPS...
Sushubh
Admin
Staff member
Chinese speaking to a Chinese operator... Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? Operator: Yes, you can speak to me. Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan! Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can speak to me. Who is this? Caller: I'm Sam Wan. And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent. Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about? Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital. Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this! Caller: You are so rude! Who are you? Operator: I'm Saw Ree. Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!! Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree….= = = =A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, Is God a man or a woman?” “Both son. God is both.” After a while the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy is God black or white?“Both son, both.” The child returns a few minutes later and says, “Daddy, Is Michael Jackson a God?
Nuxer
liNUX+usER
A little kid asks his father, “Daddy, Is God a man or a woman?”
“Both son. God is both.”
After a while the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy is God black or white?
“Both son, both.”
The child returns a few minutes later and says, “Daddy, Is Michael Jackson a God?
:rofl::rofl::rofl:
“Both son. God is both.”
After a while the kid comes again and asks, “Daddy is God black or white?
“Both son, both.”
The child returns a few minutes later and says, “Daddy, Is Michael Jackson a God?
:rofl::rofl::rofl:
K
Kevin
Regulars
A laywer was on his deathbed.
He called for his wife, and after she arrived he told her to run and get her Bible as soon as possible. So she ran and got her Bible, preparing to read him his favorite verse or something of the sort.
He snatched it from her as soon as she got back though, and began to rapidly thumb through the pages, quickly scanning them as they leafed passed.
His wife was curious about his behavior and asked him, "What are you doing, honey?"
He simply replied, "I'm looking for loopholes!"
Few more
1) Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
2) Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
3) 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
4) Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
5) Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
6) First Guy says (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
He called for his wife, and after she arrived he told her to run and get her Bible as soon as possible. So she ran and got her Bible, preparing to read him his favorite verse or something of the sort.
He snatched it from her as soon as she got back though, and began to rapidly thumb through the pages, quickly scanning them as they leafed passed.
His wife was curious about his behavior and asked him, "What are you doing, honey?"
He simply replied, "I'm looking for loopholes!"
Few more
1) Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.
2) Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.
3) 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.
4) Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
5) Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.
6) First Guy says (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Sushubh
Admin
Staff member
Ek bar ek Shopping Mall ne ek naya gujarati salesman hire kiya. Uske hire hote hi, Sale badhne lagi-din dugni, raat chauguni. Malik ne socha is ladke se mujhe milna chahiye. Malik Mall par aaya, usne dekha ladka ek customer ko fishing-rod bech raha tha. Woh dur khada ho kar hi usko customer se deal karte dekhne lagaa. Ladke ne fishing-rod bech di. Customer ne kaha kitne rupaye, ladka bola Rs.800/-. Yeh kah kar ladke ne customer ke shoes dekhe aur bola, itne mahange shoes pahankar fishing karne jayenge? Ek sport shoe bhi kharid lijiye, customer ne sport shoes bhi kharid liye. Ab ladke ne kaha talaab kinare dhoop mein baithna padega, ek cap bhi kharid lijiye to theek rehega, customer ne cap bhi kharid li. Ab ladke ne kaha, machli pakadne mein bahut intezar karna padega, kuch eatables, wafers, biscuits, bhi le jayiye, customer ne woh bhi kharid liye. Ladka bola machli pakdenge to rakhenge kahan ? Yeh ek Rs.100/- ki basket bhi le lijiye, customer ne wo bhi kharid li. Ab total bill bana Rs.2000/- ka. Malik bahut khush hua. Usne ladke ko bulaya aur kaha, tum to kamal ke salesman ho. Woh aadmi fishing rod kharidane ayaa . . aur tumane usey itna sarasamaanbech diya, very good. Ladka bola, ' Sir, woh aadmi to 'Stayfree' napkin kharidane ayaa tha, maine kaha, char din tu ghar par kya karega 'Jaa Machli Pakad' '
