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Collection Of Jokes
- Thread starter Amuthan
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Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her
father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They
reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father
and placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering
what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him
to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced "Ladies and
Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life." Then he raised his
hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter
finally, finally returned my credit card to me." The whole audience
including priest started laughing.......... but not the poor groom!
_____________________________
Have a great weekend
father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They
reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father
and placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering
what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him
to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced "Ladies and
Gentlemen today is the luckiest day of my life." Then he raised his
hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, "My daughter
finally, finally returned my credit card to me." The whole audience
including priest started laughing.......... but not the poor groom!
_____________________________
Have a great weekend
Nuxer
liNUX+usER
:hysterical:
D
designwebgraphic
Everything is fair in love, war and jokes!!
----------
ok... a story set in a primary school.
A teacher teaches 40+9 = 49 and 90+4 = 94 and so on.... He is a bit "faulty" piece with his toungue. He pronouces "j" and "s" to "z"
Pankaj is a student who is the most brilliant among all whose grasping power is amazing and learns everything very well.
Then teacher got busy in doing something in class and given a classwork to the students. Says: "come on studentz.. do thiz much of examplez. i am buzy doing zomething with my work"
After sometime ---
A student stands up and asks: sir, what is 30 + 3
Teacher: Azk Pankaz.
Another student: sir, what is 55 + 17
Teacher: Azk Pankaz.
And to find a reason to play prank and laugh, students are keep asking...
Another student: sir, what is 20 + 22
Teacher (now in a irritating mood): Azk Pankaz
And finally all students laugh like the hell.... ha hahah ahahahah ahaha.
Teacher: why are you all laughing. Whatz zo funny in thiz?
A student says : AZK PANKAZ
:rofl:
----------
ok... a story set in a primary school.
A teacher teaches 40+9 = 49 and 90+4 = 94 and so on.... He is a bit "faulty" piece with his toungue. He pronouces "j" and "s" to "z"
Pankaj is a student who is the most brilliant among all whose grasping power is amazing and learns everything very well.
Then teacher got busy in doing something in class and given a classwork to the students. Says: "come on studentz.. do thiz much of examplez. i am buzy doing zomething with my work"
After sometime ---
A student stands up and asks: sir, what is 30 + 3
Teacher: Azk Pankaz.
Another student: sir, what is 55 + 17
Teacher: Azk Pankaz.
And to find a reason to play prank and laugh, students are keep asking...
Another student: sir, what is 20 + 22
Teacher (now in a irritating mood): Azk Pankaz
And finally all students laugh like the hell.... ha hahah ahahahah ahaha.
Teacher: why are you all laughing. Whatz zo funny in thiz?
A student says : AZK PANKAZ
:rofl:
Continuing with the above joke...Girl (yet) goes with boy to watch the movie.Now next day, girl with her friend (other girl)2nd girl: You went to movie with him yesterday 🙄1st girl: yes, we went to movie y'day :isorry:2nd girl: So... tell me what happened :grin:1st girl: nothing... we watched the movie and returned back :redface:2nd girl: :ishock: :iomg:
The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office.The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant Lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.’I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘How about a demonstration?’The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay.. Go ahead.’Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops…Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.’Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.’Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.But Grandpa’s own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.’Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.’Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you’d be happy about it!’Don’t Mess with Old People!!
Nuxer
liNUX+usER
I want more funny pics 😀
On their way to getting married, a young couple is involved in a fatal car accident. They find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates, waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter shows up, they ask him. St. Peter says, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked that. Let me go and find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sit and wait, and wait. Two months pass and the couple is still waiting. As they wait, they discuss that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. 'What if it doesn't work?' they wondered. 'Are we stuck together forever?'
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. 'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' says the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Can we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground.
'What's wrong?' ask the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!' St. Peter shouts, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?'
On their way to getting married, a young couple is involved in a fatal car accident... : funny
The couple sit and wait, and wait. Two months pass and the couple is still waiting. As they wait, they discuss that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. 'What if it doesn't work?' they wondered. 'Are we stuck together forever?'
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. 'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' says the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Can we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground.
'What's wrong?' ask the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!' St. Peter shouts, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?'
On their way to getting married, a young couple is involved in a fatal car accident... : funny
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