Who Said English Is Easy?

itschahat

Newbie
[OP]
Sep 22, 2006
5
0
So a 2 letter word has a hundred completely different meanings. So what is this stuff about English being easy?There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any other two-letter word, and that is "UP."It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we waken in the morning, why do we wake UP?At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?We call UP our friends And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.At other times the little word has real special meaning.People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.And this UP is confusing:A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!To be knowledgeable of the proper uses of UP, look UP the word in the dictionary. In a desk size dictionary, the word up, takes UP almost 1/4th the page and definitions add UP to about thirty.If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so.............I'll shut UP... ----------- Chahat
 

bhargav

\,,/
Regulars
Nov 17, 2005
225
0
:D ya english is one phunny language
 


blr_p

Regulars
Regulars
May 26, 2005
3,935
12
Nice write UP :)..would have been better if we knew where to look UP the orginal author, most prolly a yank, but props nevertheless.
 


itschahat

Newbie
[OP]
Sep 22, 2006
5
0
Max, a lonely widow, was walking home along Broadway wishing something wonderful would happen into his life when he passed a Pet Store and heard a squawking voice shouting at him: "Hey, you, Mister, why don't you come in and buy me?" Max rubbed his eyes and ears. Couldn't believe it. The proprietor sprang out of the door and grabbed Max by the sleeve.
"Come in here, fella, and check out this parrot..." Max stood in front of an African Grey that cocked his little head and said: "You speak English?" The parrot answered: "What did you think, Chinese?"

In a matter of moments, Max had placed five hundred dollars down on the counter and carried the parrot in his cage away with him. All night he talked with the parrot, talking about his lonely life. The Parrot told him how lonely it was to live in a cage. They became good friends.

Next morning, Max, before he ate his breakfast, read aloud a page from the Bible. The parrot demanded to know what he was doing and when Max explained, the parrot wanted also to read a page from the Bible. So Max went out and ordered a miniature Bible for the parrot.

On Sunday, Max went to his church and demanded that the parrot could come in and pray to. The Minister refused, saying a church was no place for a parrot. But Max insisted, saying that the parrot would pray out aloud, since he was a talking parrot. He would also sing hymns.

None of the worshippers believed Max, and they bet Max at even odds that the parrot could not say his prayers nor sing a hymn. Thousands of dollars were bet. During the services, the parrot perched on Max's shoulder and did not open his mouth. He neither prayed nor sang hymns. After the services were concluded, Max found that he owed his buddies over four thousand dollars.

He paid. He marched home, pissed off, saying nothing. Finally several blocks from the church the bird began to recite the 23 psalm. Max stopped and looked at him. "You miserable bird, you cost me over four thousand dollars. Why? Haven't I been good to you? Is this how you repay me?"

"Don't be a fool," the parrot replied. "Think of the odds next Sunday when you take me to church".

----------
- Chahat

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