powdermonkey
Regulars
. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt. . Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you. . Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with. . Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk. . Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know. . Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on. . Type on the computer for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing. . Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, "Oops, I forgot." . Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes. . "DISK FIGHT!!!" . Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw. . If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required. . Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless. . Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you. . Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you. Grind some more. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger. . Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you. . Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic. . Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions. . Attempt to eat your computer's mouse. . Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard & taking it. . Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun. . When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best. . Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does *your* delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, whaddya know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave. . Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go. . Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them. . See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hangup before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger. . Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work. . Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.
