Why The Call Centre Guys R Paid So Much



1). Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer "No."

Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."


2). A plain computer illeterate guy rings tech support to report that
his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there
is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD [/URL] NOSMOKE.COM at the
end of the CONFIG.SYS.

Letme know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.

Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.


3) Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message."

Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"


4).Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."

Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."

Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."

Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."

Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."

Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer:: "What?"

Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer: "No..."


5).Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

Tech Support:: ?!%#$


6).Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"


7) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"

Customer:: "A white one."


8).. Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."

Customer:: "How do you spell that?"


9). Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"

Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery


10). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"

Customer: "Pentium."


11). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal


12).Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."


13).Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"


14). Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
print document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech Support: "What does it say?"

Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."


15). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open
24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"


16). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"

Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support:: "Well?"

Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"


17) customer care officer:I need a product identification no: right now
and may I help u in finding it out?

Cust: sure

CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?

Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?


This is reality, I know by experience.

Mr X

right said...some idiots just dont know what they call up for some times...this too by past experience


right said...some idiots just dont know what they call up for some times...this too by past experience[/b]

Mostly when number of help center is toll free for subscribers :lol:



I'm a techie as well as an assembler (hobby), so I have experienced plenty of them from newbies/users which much more awkward and vulgar than these ones !!! :lol:


Bring it ON
All rite!!! M guilty!!! Go ahed and sue me....Sumtimes talkin to dese Cust Care ppl can transcend to a lot of fun thoSum of the guys do take it all in the rite spirit and sum of them jus blow offf... Past experience!!Given up on these juvenile activities.... Tho not sure till when... B)