The Offtopic Thread

vikikivi

Regular
Messages
158
ISP
DataOne
MS staff

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy "Hey! Where am I?" To this, the solitary office worker replies "You're in a plane." The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out.

The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. "Simple" replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just a while away."

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Is Windows a virus?

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:
They replicate quickly Okay, Windows does that

Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so okay, Windows does that

Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk Okay, Windows does that, too

Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems Sigh... Windows does that, too

Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware Yup, that's with Windows, too

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature

So, Windows is *not* a virus

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Note about Winblows '95

Windows '95 supports Plug 'n' Pray peripherals!!! :D :D

__________________________________________________________

What's the difference between Bill Gates and Robert Tappen Morris, Jr.
(the Internet Worm Hacker)?

Robert Tappen Morris, Jr., got six months in jail for crashing 10% of the
computers that Bill Gates made $100 million crashing last weekend.

__________________________________________________________

Bill and his young wife wakes up after their first marriage night. The woman says: "Finally, I found out, why you called your company "MicroSoft" :p :p

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FACTS

1- In a world without wall and fences, who needs windows and gates?
2- Disasters of our century: Hiroshima '45, Cernobyl '87, Windows '95.

__________________________________________________________

And for many more...chk out

Code:
http://www.zejn.si/~natan/gates.html
 

St0le

The Funny One
Messages
761
ISP
MTNL
This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a United States naval vessel and the Canadians, which took place off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The US Chief of Naval Operations released this transcript into the public arena later the same month. Canadians: Please change course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. Americans: Recommend you change your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid collision. Canadians: Negative. You must change your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. Americans: This is the Captain of one of the United States' Navy's warships. I say again change your course 15 degrees north. Canadians: Negative, I say again negative. You will have to change your course. Americans: LISTEN BUDDY, WE ARE THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER "USS LINCOLN" - THE 2nd LARGEST SHIP IN THE US NAVY. WE ARE SAILING IN CONVOY WITH 3 DESTROYERS, 3 BATTLE CRUISERS, AND SEVERAL SUPPORT SHIPS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH IMMEDIATELY OR I WILL BE OBLIGED TO CONSIDER COUNTER MEASURES TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SQUADRON. Canadians: this is the lighthouse. its Your call.
 


thecoolone

Regular
Messages
142
nice one ..ohh darn stupid americans ... how blind sighted do they get becox they r the super power !!
 


St0le

The Funny One
Messages
761
ISP
MTNL
Vince , does it matter who posts it (internet kills ownership)all that matters is we point fingers at americans and have a good laugh!on 31,2,3 ....point...and laugh!
 

ispuser

Newbie
Messages
8
Originally posted by [email protected] 5 2005, 09:46 PM
I believe I posted that somewhere..

@Prathapml: Most probably not true, but you've gotta admit that its funny...
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You shouldn't be surpried. His name says it all - Stole!
 

ispuser

Newbie
Messages
8
Originally posted by [email protected] 5 2005, 09:51 PM
Vince , does it matter who posts it (internet kills ownership)

all that matters is we point fingers at americans and have a good laugh!

on 3
1,2,3 ....point...and laugh!
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[/quote]

Good one - original posting and this reply as well.

Keep it coming!
 
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