Bollywood in 2006


Move over the Jumanis and Daruwallas. IndiaFM sleuths are here. Through our various year end features we told you of all the happenings in Bollywood in 2005. Now we present to you something untold, unseen or unheard of until now - The Future of Bollywood. Through our vast experience in the field and deep foresight, here we predict what will happen in Bollywood in 2006.

* Saif will not marry Roza and say Salaam Namaste.

* More MMS clips.

* Yash Raj Films will come out with 3 films of which 1 will star Uday Chopra in a lead role and the remaining two will have him in a special appearance.

* Karan Johar will release Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna and will have Uday Chopra in a blink-and-miss role.

* The Bhatts will have 3 releases as well, all remakes of English films, of which 2 films will have new-comers, either items girls from videos or one of their nephews or nieces. Emraan Hasmi will be the lead in all of them. All of their movies will have remakes of Pakistani songs.

* Tusshar Kapoor will start acting in Balaji soaps as his film career goes kaput.

* Emraan Hashmi will stop lip-locking as he is going to get married.

* Karan Razdan will come out with 2 films with sex as its main content but will call it path-breaking cinema.

* 10 star children will be launched and only 2 of these launches will be outside their home productions.

* Amrita Arora will get a new-boyfriend.

* Aishwarya will sign two more films by Indian directors with a small time Hollywood co-producer and say she's doing a Hollywood film.

* Mallika Sherawat will start looking eastward again. Maybe Bhojpuri!

* David Dhawan will make 2 comedies inspired from super hit Jim Carrey films.

* Ram Gopal Varma will keep adding actors to his cast of the Sholay remake but never start the filming and eventually shelve the project.

* RGV will also produce 7 films of which all will be directed by new-comers from his in-house team of writers and editors and they will never be heard after again.

* At least 20 films will be remade from Hollywood flicks and another 10 will be remakes of either old Hindi films or South Indian films and another 5 films will be adapted from classic literature.

* At least 5 films will have titles which have been inspired from yesteryear hit songs.

* Celina Jaitley will start dating an Indian for a change.

* Anurag Kashyap will finally get one of his films released.

* Himesh Reshamiya will sing lots of nasal songs and even have remix versions of it.

* Sanjay Leela Bhansali will be seen chewing gum in all award functions and will still assert that he will be starting Bajirao Mastani sometime soon.

* Amitabh Bachchan will star in 8 films, 15 ads and 2 music videos.

* A film will be made on Monica Bedi's life.

* Mallika Sherawat would not smooch in any of her further films as stars complain of her bad mouth odour.

* Aamir Khan's wife Kiran Rao will direct his next home-production.

* Mithun's son, Mimoh will continue the family tradition of catching bullets with his bare hands and jumping over trains in He - The Only One.

* Kaun Banega Crorepati will again invite celebrity guest stars who non-surprisingly will win a whopping amount (not less than Rs. 25 lakhs) easily, even while regular contestants find it difficult to cross the Rs. 6.4 lakhs mark.

* Stars will continue to make guest appearances in tele-serials to promote their films and continue to look out of place.

* Amitabh will become brand ambassador for ENO. Too much food leads to indigestion…too many ads lead to intestine congestion.

* Salman Khan will sign two Hinglish movies "Anger Management" and "Mobile Phone Etiquettes”

* Divorce lawyers will continue minting money.