Subject: An Obituary printed in the London Times


Be nice pliss
Staff member
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who hasbeen with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since hisbirth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be rememberedas having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm;Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more thanyou can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearingregulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged withsexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for usingmouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the jobthat they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consentto administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not informparents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; andcriminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took abeating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home andthe burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman f ailed torealize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, andwas promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, by hiswife Discretion his daughter, Responsibility, and his son Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights. I Want It Now . Someone Else Is To Blame . I'm A Victim . Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.


Trib 649_Combo
:Oso true, and yet so funnie!:D